When your needs as a child have not been met, there has been abuse or neglect, a disconnect forms internally with the inner knowing of what you need in any given moment.
This makes self-care very difficult as you have no idea what you are feeling or what you need. It might be long after the event it becomes clear to you what you needed.
As an adult, you might feel completely disconnected from your inner needs, feeling a compulsion to put others before yourself. This most powerfully plays out when you have your own family and find yourself unable to prioritise your needs over your family when you need to.
The other situation that occurs is when you know what you need, but you push it down and ignore it, maybe through business, distraction, or overeating, believing your needs are not valid, or are somehow scary.
Being scared of your needs is NORMAL when you have grown up in an environment where it was not okay or safe to ask for your needs to be met.
Know that you CAN shift this pattern. You CAN reconnect to your needs and create boundaries in your life.
If you recognise this behaviour, tomorrow’s post will provide some tips on how to shift this pattern and build self-trust.