Little self-betrayals become a habit. It is in the little moments where our natural reaction is to say yes, when really, the right answer for us at that time is no. Self-betrayals happen when we don’t take the time and care required to gently check in with ourselves.
When I want to say yes, but I think the real answer might be no, I often say, ‘I’m not sure, can I get back to you on that?’
The first and most important step in breaking the self-betrayal pattern is to know that your needs matter.
Let’s say it again loudly: YOUR NEEDS MATTER. YOU ARE IMPORTANT & YOUR NEEDS MATTER.
Checking in with yourself in the moment to see what you need is a habit you can develop. Try setting an alarm for every hour. When it rings, check in with yourself and ask the question, ‘what do I need right now?’
Getting into the habit of going quiet and listening for your inner response will help you in the more stressful moments, like when someone is waiting for your response.
Enjoy and let me know how you go!