Generational patterns repeat through a family because people tend to parent how they were parented. Being the ‘cycle breaker’ in a family is not an easy role. It is often not chosen by the person concerned. It is a deep impulse and inner knowing that the old ways of being in the family system are not for them.
It takes courage to step outside the norm within a family system, there can be ridicule, criticism and judgement, as others in the family might be scared of this change in a member of the family. Sometimes, members of the family will use subtle forms of shaming to stop the change.
It might sound like:
- Why are you wasting your time going to therapy?
- What is wrong with hitting kids, it didn’t do you any harm.
- You think you are better than us?
- Ashamed of us?
- What’s the point of education, we didn’t need it.
- What’s all this touchy feely rubbish you are learning about?
- There was nothing wrong with your childhood, you were the problem
What else have you heard that was meant to keep you small? If you feel comfortable to, share in the comments.
Remember – for all the cycle breakers – you can do this. Have courage on your healing journey.
Much love, Jen