When we have experienced different forms of abandonment as a child, we might be quick to attach, even to unavailable partners. When we experience abandonment as a child, our sense of self changes. We feel unworthy of the connection, attention and love that we naturally crave. It often feels like a gaping hole. I heard one person say that it felt so deep and core that they described it as a ‘soul wound’. One response to this situation as a child is to stay close to the caregiver, to hang around for the crumbs of love and affection that may or may not come your way. When they come, there is a relief. There is a sense of being worthy and being seen. But not for long, just as quickly, it is gone—nowhere near enough to fill that inner hole. My heart aches as I write this because I see so many people who have experienced this in their lives, and I remember some of this patterning with my father. I pause now, and I tend to the younger part of me. As adults, it is common to attach too quickly, to accept breadcrumbs, even from people who are clearly unavailable. We stay because we know this feeling. This feeling of NOT being the most important thing in their life, of NOT being a priority. It is familiar.