When we grow up with parents who are abusive or neglectful, we quickly learn to ignore our own needs. Maybe it is dangerous to express our needs, or when we do, they are ignored.
The result is a deep disconnect from our inner self, our essence. Over time our self-worth is affected as we learn we are not worthy of attention or affection. We stop listening to our needs.
Self-betrayal happens in the small moments, not always in the big things.
- It is when you are overworked and exhausted and your husband asks you to do something for him and you say yes.
- It is when you have a well-deserved day off, but you have unfinished work to complete and you spend most of the day working.
- It is when you promised yourself not to eat the whole tub of ice cream within the week, and you do.
These are all small self-betrayals. They are little moments you can gather to prove to yourself that you not good enough. Here is the evidence.
If you recognise this behaviour, know that you CAN heal this pattern. As you learn to connect to your needs and to ask for what you need, things change.
I hope you are all travelling well out there.