How do you start to heal the mother and father wound?
One of the pieces of the puzzle for me was doing transactional analysis work. More commonly known as inner child work.
I have been doing this work with myself and others for over 17 years and it just works. The inner child is essentially the joy-filled, creative part of us, but it is affected by what happened to us in our childhood and the key messages that were received.
As children, when things happened to us that were too big to process, they become kind of frozen. Re-parenting is one way to start to de-frost the frozen parts of self. WE have the opportunity to tell our inner child the things they deserved to hear as children, but may not have heard.
I can be powerful for your child to hear something like “You are so beautiful on the inside and the outside. You are the most important person in my life, I LOVE being with you and playing with you. I love you if you misbehave, I love you if you are well behaved. I love you no matter what.” Remember to use language a 6 year old would understand.
This is about stepping up as an adult to be the parent to yourself that your parents couldn’t be.
For me, it has been one of the most empowering connections I have made. I have developed a knowing that I will always be there for ME. I don’t need to outsource my need for love, acceptance or approval, because I love, accept and approve of her daily. She looks to me for reassurance in times of stress.
For me inner child healing is never finished. It is a relationship. It is the most important relationship I have. The one with myself.
If you choose to explore this further a seminal book is: ‘Recovery of your Inner Child’ by Lucia Capacchione.
This is beautiful work and I wish all of you luck on your journey with your inner child.