Self-discipline is learnt.
We learn it as children as we are guided to do our homework before watching the TV, we learn acceptable ways to speak to our family even when we are angry, we learn how much of the birthday cake we can eat.
When it is done well, discipline is firm, but loving. The reason for the rule is explained and repeated if necessary and enforced. There is consistency on the part of the adult. They don’t just give in when pushed a little.
You may have noticed there is a fine line with discipline. Give a child too much and there is no space for spontaneity and fun, but give a child too little and there is chaos. Where was your childhood on this scale?
Wherever it was, know that your parents only did what they were taught, or could manage at the time. Know that it is not your fault if you struggle with self-discipline. If you weren’t taught it as a child how are you supposed to know now? You are NOT faulty or weak!
The good news is that self-disciple CAN be learnt as an adult. This is a fundamental part of the re-parenting process.
Think of something you want to do for yourself this week.
Keep that promise to yourself.
Think of a goal you have in your life.
Write it down.
If you were to do ONE small thing every day towards that goal, what would it be? Make this very achievable and set yourself up to succeed.
Write it down.
I like to think of these practices as weightlifting. I need to do a little every day to see the change I want.