Being in a relationship with an anxiously attached person can feel suffocating. Small things might trigger them. Like not returning a call until after work, which is interpreted as not being committed. After a while, this all becomes a …
Tag: secure attachment
Environment for Secure Attachment
If you are in one of the insecurely attached groups, know that we can all learn to become more secure if we choose. It takes a lot of courage, but it can be done! Drop me a comment …
Identifying Your Attachment Style
Up until the age of two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary caregiver (usually the mother), we are being wired for …
Importance of Attachment
IS THIS THE REASON YOU STRUGGLE IN YOUR INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS? As children, we are like sponges. Our brain grows to 80% of its adult size by the time we are two! At times the neurons are growing at a …
Deep Attunement For Trauma
As a therapist, it is my job to be deeply attuned to my client, notice when someone is becoming distressed, and assist them in returning to their window of tolerance.I like to think of it as good mothering because it …
Trauma & Secure Attachment
When we experience trauma as a child, and our mother (or primary caregiver) is not attuned to our needs, this is attachment trauma. 50% of the population have an insecure attachment style. This means the mother was not available in …
What Does A Secure, Healthy Relationship Look Like?
I have been asked a lot recently, what does a healthy relationship look like? What are the people who have secure relationships doing? They have learnt, over time, how to balance the ‘we’ and the ‘me’, to repair the inevitable …
The Dance Of The Disorganised And The Securely Attached
So, it starts great. It is AMAZING for the disorganised person to finally be in a relationship with someone who appreciates and respects you. Your new partner is attentive, calls and texts regularly and doesn’t leave you guessing. They do …
The Dance of The Avoidant and The Securely Attached
Something I haven’t seen talked about anywhere else is the phenomenon where an avoidant will create an anxious attachment out of a normally securely attached person. Can this happen? Yes! I know because I have had this experience myself. I …
The Dance Of The Anxious And The Securely Attached
The honeymoon phase for the anxiously attached is wonderful, as they finally find someone to partner with. Deep down they feel that the world is not a safe place, so it is safer with someone than alone. The honeymoon phase …