It is easy to hide behind unhealthy behaviours (like ignoring calls, making your partner jealous, game playing and temper tantrums). But is it ‘easier’ in the long run? To be honest in any relationship there has to be an element …
Tag: Relationships
Healing Old Communication Styles
Healing old communication styles where we play games, push our partner away and DON’T get what we want. Here are some situations, some old communication styles, that don’t work, and some new ways to communicate to help get your needs …
Communicating Needs
Once we know what we need, how do we communicate? We have learned that our needs are not important and, in some cases, that the needs of the parent are bigger and more important than our needs. So, once we …
Valid Needs
Knowing our needs can be difficult when we have been taught that our needs are not important or should be placed after everyone else’s needs. This is a type of trauma. We are being separated from our most basic instinct, …
Identifying Your Needs If You Are Avoidantly Attached
Have you ever marvelled at how some people seem to know exactly what they need in any given moment? Do you often feel numb and have no idea? This is one of the traits of the avoidantly attached. The avoidantly …
Indicators I Am Healing in My Relationships
I am less triggered and when I am triggered, I work through it I find it easier to put myself in the other persons shoes and be compassionate without abandoning myself I have clearer, healthier boundaries My self-worth is no …
What does it feel like to be the secure home base for my clients?
“For me there is a sense of strong love flowing towards the person in pain. In my head and my whole being I am ALLOWING. I am not saying, it is enough now, or this needs to stop, or you …
What Does A Secure, Healthy Relationship Look Like?
GOOD COMMUNICATION – repairing ruptures quickly, communicating wants and needs COMPROMISE – being able to BOTH let go sometimes VALIDATED FEELINGS – we might agree with what is being said, but we hear each other TRUST – we can lean …
The Dance of The Avoidant and The Securely Attached
Something I haven’t seen talked about anywhere else is the phenomenon where an avoidant will create an anxious attachment out of a normally securely attached person. Can this happen? Yes! I know because I have had this experience myself. I …
The Dance of The Anxious and The Securely Attached
The honeymoon phase for the anxiously attached is wonderful, as they finally find someone to partner with. Deep down they feel that the world is not a safe place, so it is safer with someone than alone. The honeymoon phase …