A lot of cycle breaking that takes place in families happens without much open discussion. Often families don’t have the language or willingness to discuss things which might be unhealthy for one or more members. Things that might prevent a …
Tag: family dynamics
Understanding Why the People in Your Family Are as they Are
Taking time to understand your family is part of the healing process. As we get to know our parents, for most of us there are parts that we love and respect and parts that drive us crazy. If you have …
How to Support Yourself as a ‘Cycle Breaker’
A cycle breaker in a family is someone who consciously chooses to develop different ways of communicating, interacting, living and thinking to their family of origin. This can start at a very young age, knowing early that you just think …
Being a Cycle Breaker is a Calling
To be a cycle breaker there has to be a certain kind of waking up to the dysfunctional family patterns. This usually happens over a period of time, but it can also happen over-night, leaving you feeling completely disorientated and …
How to Respond to Shaming Comments as a Cycle Breaker
As a cycle breaker it is important to understand that most of the resistance to you being different and wanting to break away from the family is based in FEAR. The underlying habit for many family systems is to shame …
How Cycle Breakers are Shamed in their Family
Being a cycle breaker is often exhausting because it takes energy to stand up and do something different to what has always been done in the family. You might notice ‘looks’ being passed between members, or eye rolling as you …
How to Speak your Child’s Love Language
Children need all five love languages. As a parent you will probably find it easiest to give the ones you like to receive. This can leave the others a little lacking. I love words of affirmation and physical touch, so …
If Old Family Dynamics Get Triggered During the Holiday, Know You Are Not Alone And Be Kind To Yourself
A good friend of mine used to joke that he could always test how much work he had done on himself the preceding year according to how much he got triggered during the holiday season. It’s true, you can spend …
It’s Okay to Take a Break from Your Family
If you have grown up with a family system that is terrified of separation, that places family above all else, the thought of taking a break can be both terrifying and wonderful. It can be terrifying when you just think …
How To Heal From Scapegoating
Healing from scapegoating can take time because the role of scapegoat has been imprinted on you for such a long time. The first step is to validate the effect the behaviour has had on you. This is best done with …