There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be upset’ first. …
Tag: Boundaries
Taking Time Out from Your Family
It can be terrifying when you just think of the responses. You already know the tyranny of attacks coming your way, the talking about you behind your back, the guilt-tripping. Oh, yes, the guilt-tripping! Finding the right words that will …
Anger as a Sign to put a Boundary in Place
Anger is an emotion that is often a messenger. It is great to get curious about what the message is and if a boundary needs to be put in place. For example, suppose one of your friends repeatedly criticises your …
Assertive Boundaries
Once we know what our boundaries are, we need to be able to communicate them effectively. Boundaries can be loving and firm. Usually, if we have had poor boundaries in the past when we start to put boundaries in place, …
Aligning With Your Values Makes Holding Boundaries Clearer
What are values? Values are principles that you feel deeply aligned with. Some examples of values are authenticity, adventure, community, fun, knowledge, peace, success, wisdom, and many more. So how can being clear about my values help me know my …
Recognising When You Need Boundaries
Creating healthy boundaries in your relationships IS something that can be learned as an adult. As adults, even people who grew up with healthy boundaries will need to enforce those boundaries as they encounter different people with different boundary styles. …
Committing to Your Boundaries
So often, nobody knows about your small wins. If you are like me, you might tend to minimise your successes with something like, “Well, I am only not reading them now after 8.30 pm. Most people already do that, so …
Examples of Healthy Personal Boundaries
Boundaries with yourself refer to the idea of drawing a line between what is okay for you and what is not okay. Sometimes we don’t know where the boundary needs to be until we cross it, and we feel angry …
Nurturing Yourself as a Highly Sensitive Person
A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), as described by Elaine Aron in her book “The Highly Sensitive Person”, is someone who is more sensitive to subtleties of the environment, has a more sensitive nervous system and more active insula (the part …
The Importance of Boundaries as a Highly Sensitive Person
Boundaries are a vital part of your self-care as a highly sensitive person. Having boundaries around what you do often involves having to say ‘no’ to some things. This can sound like: I have been feeling pretty tired; lately, I …