Tag: Boundaries

Regression into Childhood States

Regression into Childhood States

May 24, 2022

Our core childhood needs are: Attachment Freedom to be yourself and to have your emotions and needs validated Appropriate limits so you learn self-control Independence, competence and self-identity Play When triggered by one of these needs not being met, you …

Read More

Cycle Breaker

Cycle Breaking

May 15, 2022

Do you. Stand tall. Love to all,  Jen

Read More

11 Ways to Support Yourself as a ‘Cycle Breaker’ Accept that you are different from your family of origin, and that’s okay Remember that you are doing the healing work for your children and their children Find a wholesome group outside of your family of origin Find supportive people, therapists, teachers, etc Educate yourself in new ways of being and communicating Develop clear boundaries with your family Don’t expect anyone else to change Develop empathy for yourself and your family Keep a journal and remind yourself to align with YOUR values Permit yourself to take a break from the family or distance if necessary Trust yourself

11 Ways to Support Yourself as a ‘Cycle Breaker’

February 10, 2022

A cycle breaker in a family consciously chooses to develop different ways of communicating, interacting, living and thinking to their family of origin. This can start at a very young age, knowing early that you just think differently, or are …

Read More

Gas lighting at work

Tips to Handle Gaslighting at Work

January 14, 2022

Gaslighting at work can ruin your confidence and career. I have seen it.⁣⁣The behaviour is easier to manage if other people in the office see what is happening. It is much more difficult when one person is singled out by …

Read More

4 Step Apology

4 Step Apology

November 9, 2021

This might sound like: “I’m sorry I didn’t call to let you know I would be late for the show. That was thoughtless of me. Next time I’ll be sure to let you know. Can you forgive me?” Remember, when …

Read More

How to Respond to an Apology When It’s Not Okay.

How to Respond to an Apology When It’s Not Okay.

November 9, 2021

Answering these questions might aid you in finding your next step forward. We all make mistakes. The magic is in the repair. You are allowed some time and space while taking care of yourself and getting clear about your needs. …

Read More

How the Flight Trauma Response Can Show Up In An Argument You want to leave the room and RUN. You might make yourself stay, but every part of you is screaming to get away. You might start fantasising about leaving the relationship and even threaten to leave the relationship. You find yourself looking for an escape route, and your eyes start to dart around. You stop listening to your partner because your sympathetic nervous system has taken over, and the thinking brain has switched off. Your mind is racing. Thoughts don’t seem to be connected logically. You feel jumpy. When they move their hand, you think they are going to lash out at you. In the moment, you are not aware of your body.

How the Flight Trauma Response Can Show Up In An Argument

October 12, 2021

When we are in conflict, it is easy to be triggered into an automatic trauma response.  Why? Maybe our partner is triggering a flashback to an old situation Maybe their tone of voice feels threatening Maybe the way they gestured …

Read More

I Stay Too Long In The Wrong Relationships This statement gets me curious about when you first recognised the signs that the relationship was wrong for you. Take a moment and think back. When was that first moment you knew? Remember that feeling. That’s the feeling of you knowing. Then we cover that feeling with reason, doubt, fear or confusion. And we stay. And that knowing comes again. How will you make space for that feeling next time? Without the torrent of doubt and fear. What will you do differently? Let me know in the comments.

I Stay Too Long In The Wrong Relationships

October 12, 2021

Most of us have been conditioned to ignore or block out our feelings and our bodies. Part of finding our way back to health and wholeness is through reconnecting with our thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. We can …

Read More

Boundaries are a love language. You can be deeply connected to your heart and still be in your power when setting a boundary. Sometimes boundaries emerge from a deep sense of profound love for both you and the other person. You just can’t carry on in the way you have been. Something needs to change. Boundaries are hard if we have been taught that boundaries mean we don’t love each other. Remember, boundaries are a love language.

Boundaries Are A Love Language

September 27, 2021

When we have grown up with few boundaries and been taught that boundaries are selfish, it can be challenging to put them in place as an adult. It can be challenging to know what is appropriate, what you need, and …

Read More

10 Tips for When You Feel “New Relationship Anxiety”

10 Tips for When You Feel “New Relationship Anxiety”

September 16, 2021

Moving into a new relationship is all about stepping into vulnerability. We often feel anxiety when we step into vulnerability because we risk being hurt. I hope these tips will be helpful for those of you experiencing new relationship anxiety. …

Read More