We have all been there, at that moment when you are doing precisely the same thing AGAIN. You are in pattern repeat, a cycle. For example, you are annoyed that your partner just spent a whole lot of the family …
Tag: attachment
Is Modern Child-Rearing Dysfunctional?
What do you think about this? I’m curious to know. I came across this when I was studying for my Master’s Degree. I was drawn to it because I see these symptoms all the time in my clinic and have …
I Can’t Change My Attachment Style, Can I?
Up until the age of two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary caregiver (usually the mother), we are being wired for …
Is Your Attachment Style Affecting Your Relationships?
Your attachment style influences all of your intimate relationships. Knowing if you are secure or insecure in your attachment can help you to understand some of your behaviour when you are in relationships. Know that your attachment style CAN be …
What are Core Childhood Needs?
When core needs go unmet, unhealthy coping mechanisms result. This is natural, because a child needs to keep themselves safe and over time, learns how to get their needs met, however they can. For many people, having needs at all …
The Unavailable Father
So much of the literature in mental health and psychology has focused on the mother and attachment with the mother. But what about our fathers? As children we need a healthy father figure. It doesn’t have to be a biological …
Trauma & Family
Unless attended to, historical trauma can be passed through family lines. Imagine a child growing up in a household with an alcoholic mother. The mother is sometimes present and caring, and sometimes she is neglectful and verbally or physically abusive. …
Trauma & Secure Attachment
When we experience trauma as a child and our mother (or primary caregiver) is not attuned to our needs this is an attachment trauma. 50% of the population have an insecure attachment style. This means the mother was not available …
The Dance of The Anxious and The Securely Attached
The honeymoon phase for the anxiously attached is wonderful, as they finally find someone to partner with. Deep down they feel that the world is not a safe place, so it is safer with someone than alone. The honeymoon phase …
The Dance of The Disorganised and the Securely Attached
So, it starts off great. It is AMAZING to finally be in a relationship with someone who appreciates and respects you. He is attentive, he calls and texts regularly and doesn’t leave you guessing. He does and says things that …