Tag: attachment style
Childhood Attachment Wounding
When we have childhood attachment wounding we will unconsciously recreate that attachment pattern in our adult relationships. This means we are recreating our childhood trauma in our adult life and that’s why it’s so painful. You might find yourself feeling …
Why We Sabotage Relationships
Knowing your attachment style might give you a lot of insight into why you sabotage relationships. In this video, I explain why you might sabotage your relationship and how you might do it as well as the push / pull …
What Does A Secure, Healthy Relationship Look Like?
I have been asked a lot recently, what does a healthy relationship look like? What are the people who have secure relationships doing? They have learnt, over time, how to balance the ‘we’ and the ‘me’, to repair the inevitable …
The Dance Of The Anxious And The Securely Attached
The honeymoon phase for the anxiously attached is wonderful, as they finally find someone to partner with. Deep down they feel that the world is not a safe place, so it is safer with someone than alone. The honeymoon phase …
The Dance Of The Avoidant & The Anxiously Attached
If you think of every adult as having a child-like part and an adult-like part, certain combinations are very attractive. For example, an adult with a well-developed adult part, let’s say he’s a banker. Quite serious, not much fun. He …
How To Be With A Partner Who Has Disorganised Attachment
Children are wired for survival. To survive, they will adapt to their environment to get their needs for food, love, and security met. In children who show disorganised attachment, the primary caregiver has been erratic, unpredictable and sometimes abusive and …
Tools for Those with a Disorganised Attachment Style
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver due to inconsistent behaviour from the parent. Sometimes the parent is a safe and supportive …
How to Be with A Partner Who Is Avoidantly Attached
People with avoidant attachment ARE able to love and be in fulfilling relationships. They subconsciously use avoidance as a way to protect themselves. It is an adaptation developed from childhood as a response to a caregiver (often the mother) who …
Tools for those with an Avoidant Attachment Style
The avoidant attachment style grows in children due to a caregiver (often the mother) who is emotionally unavailable and non-attuned to the child’s needs. Over time they suppress their natural desire to be comforted even when they are ill. These …