Let me say it again – you are not responsible for someone else’s mental health. To be clear, I am not talking about abuse. If you are verbally, physically, mentally or emotionally abusive, then you ARE responsible.
If you are in relationship with someone and you find yourself:
- Walking on eggshells, trying to make them happy
- Being blamed for their misery or anger
- Worrying daily about their mental health
- Encouraging them to see a therapist to take the pressure off you
Then beware. These are all red flags. If your partner is overtly or covertly trying to make you responsible for their pain, anger and mental health, that is NOT okay. How can you realistically take on the burden of someone else’s mental health? You can only be in control of what you do, think and feel.
This doesn’t mean we lack empathy for our partner, but it does mean we have clear boundaries around what we will and won’t accept responsibility for.
If there has been a substantial rupture or betrayal in a relationship, please see a therapist. Navigating relational trauma alone as a couple can be very difficult and often heals with a scar that is never truly resolved.
Taking responsibility for someone else’s mental health might be something you have learnt to do in childhood. If so, it is time to let go of that habit.
Does any of this resonate with you?
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