So many people have a childhood that needs to be grieved for.
It is appropriate to grieve your childhood if:
- You were parentified
- You were bullied by a sibling
- There was a lot of violence
- There was a lot of shouting and fighting
- You were given the silent treatment
- You were neglected
- You were misunderstood
And so much more. For many people, their childhood is a source of deep grief. At the same time there is often a knowing of how much worse it could have been.
This might sound like:
“There was always a lot of yelling and fighting, but the girl next door used to get hit, so I had it better than her”. It might be true – yes, you had it better than her, but it doesn’t detract from the fear, terror and upset that you experienced.
It can be confusing when some PARTS of our childhood were wonderful, and other PARTS were terrifying. We start to wonder which it was. Was my childhood terrifying or wonderful? Often it was BOTH.
Part of the therapeutic work is to make space for BOTH and integrate what was into who you are now. A fantastic way to do this is through inner child work.
Let me know if this resonates with you. Have you struggled to reconcile differing parts of your childhood?