Is Modern Child-Rearing Dysfunctional?

What do you think about this? I’m curious to know. I came across this when I was studying for my Master’s Degree. I was drawn to it because I see these symptoms all the time in my clinic and have felt some of them myself. The overactive mind, a sense of inner deficiency, anxiety and disembodiment. These things do seem to be chronic in our cultures. 

But is the issue child-rearing, or is it a broader societal issue? When I think about attachment issues, I think about village life not that long ago. If a mother were ill, then a relative or neighbour would step in and sweep that kid up into their family until the mother was better, maybe even breastfeed the child. There was more of a sense of the community having the children and taking care of them. 

Today, we are often so isolated. Parents are struggling to pay big mortgages, so often both parents are working full time, with no family support. The pressure on modern families, I feel, is enormous. 

I’m not idealising life a hundred years ago; sure, it was difficult. But I wonder if we are heading in the right direction as a society in terms of relative disconnection when raising our children.

A great book that touches on some of this is ‘The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog’ by Bruce Perry. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. I know it’s a bit deep for a Tuesday, but there we go.

Reference: Wellwood, J (2011). Human nature, Buddha-nature on spiritual bypassing, relationship, and the dharma: an interview with John Welwood by Tina Fossella