I Can't Change My Attachment Style, Can I? Yes, you can. Up until the age of two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary caregiver (usually the mother), we are being wired for relationship. As children, we depend on this person for food, love, understanding and survival, so we adapt out behaviour to suit the situation we are experiencing in that relationship to stay alive, fed and loved.⁣