Humans are wired for connection - we’re social creatures. But trauma wires us to protect, it tells us the world isn’t safe. So as we reach out for connection, there is often part of us that is subconsciously waiting to pull back to protect. Do you find in relationships that you have this deep yearning to connect, which is part of our biology, and also this impulse to withdraw and protect? Trauma wries us for protection, it teaches us that the world is not a safe place, so as we reach out to connect, there is often part of us that is subconsciously waiting to pull back to protect.

Humans are Wired For Connection

May 20, 2021 0 Comments

Have you ever felt the desire to connect, but felt sabotaged by another part of yourself that wants to protect? 

Both are compulsions. To desire to connect is human. We are wired for connection. When we have experienced trauma, we have learnt that the world is not safe, and we have developed effective protective mechanisms to ensure we stay safe. So there is part of us that wants to connect and the part that wants to protect. 

As we become closer in a relationship we become more vulnerable, and the voice of the protective part often grows louder. Moving us to subconsciously push the other person away.

Part of the healing journey is the integration of both these parts of self, where the protective part can be seen, heard, validated and integrated.

To all of you doing this work, this is the hero’s journey.

CategoriesHealing, Psychotherapy, Relationships
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