A lot of passive aggressive communication comes from a difficulty with communicating assertively. It can be difficult for passive aggressive people to communicate things they think might be received negatively.
They might find it difficult to:
- say ‘no’
- put boundaries in place
- give controversial feedback
- be disliked by others
- handle conflict
- lose other’s approval
Passive aggressive communication is a form of communication where someone appears to be passive about a topic but are actually feeling angry. This anger then comes out in indirect ways. They may deny they are angry and shut down completely.
For example – asking your partner to do something they don’t want to do and rather than saying they don’t want to do it, they hardly speak to you for 3 days.
Passive aggression is a way of communicating, it is not a clear and direct way of communicating. In the long term it creates distance and mistrust.
If you recognise some of this behaviour in yourself know that you can slowly start to shift into assertiveness with practice. See some of my earlier posts for ideas.
Much love on your healing journey.