When we have grown up receiving few affirmations from the people around us, it can be difficult to receive words of affirmation as an adult. You might find yourself feeling suspicious and wondering if you are being manipulated. This could be a hangover from your childhood, or it could be accurate. To assess whether it could be accurate you might think about this person’s track history. Have you felt manipulated by them before? Are you aware of them manipulating other people in their lives? If your answer is no, then it might be your own expectations of being manipulated. This is completely understandable if you have grown up being manipulated.
Letting love in can be challenging. We have to become vulnerable. Can we allow ourselves to be loved? Can we allow ourselves to love?
It might be that we learnt to be ‘modest’ and push the compliment away. This comes from the school of parenting that says too much kindness might spoil the child. There is a sense of discomfort in accepting the affirmation fully.
One of the most powerful ways to start to let affirmations in, is to begin to give them first. Giving them gently to yourself. It is okay to gently congratulate yourself for the small things. For getting up on time, for making a healthy meal, for going for a walk, going to bed at a reasonable hour.
What words of affection can you give yourself today? You deserve kindness.