You may have grown up in an environment where it was not okay to have needs. It may be that your needs were denied and so you shut them down. As an adult you may judge yourself as weak for having needs. I get this.
It can be so confusing. Wondering, am I being too needy? Too demanding? Am I taking up too much space? Especially where there is attachment wounding, it is very difficult to identify and ask for what we need.
Your needs for connection, safety and commitment in a relationship ARE VALID! This is not being needy.
Once we know what we need, there can be a tendency to over-explain the reason for the need. It is because we haven’t INTERNALLY acknowledged the validity of the need.
It doesn’t matter if someone else agrees with your need, they may not have the same need as you. They will have different needs, or unidentified needs. That is not your business. YOUR needs are YOUR business and it is YOUR job to communicate them clearly.