Once we know what we need, how do we communicate? Many of us have learned that our needs are not important and, in some cases, that the needs of the parent are bigger and more important than our needs. So, once we know what we need, actually communicating this to our partner can feel overwhelming.
Remember that you are the only expert on you. Nobody else can read your mind and know what you need. It is up to you to first identify your needs for security, safety, love, time alone and then let your partner know.
While we work with identifying and communicating our needs, it is important to remember that once our needs have been communicated, there is no obligation for our partner to fill those needs. In a healthy relationship there is space for everyone’s needs to be heard, and as an insecurely attached person, this will be a very healing experience.
I wonder what need you may not be communicating.
I hope this is helpful,