As with all suggestions, nothing works 100% of the time.
When I feel triggered, I use this question with myself. I look at the facts and ask myself, “What does that mean to me?”
Recently, I found myself feeling angry about the state of the house and feeling that it had all been left for me to do. I asked myself, “What does that mean to me?” I make it mean that I’m not valued and my time is not valued.
I then questioned the truth of that. Is that true? Logically, I can see I am valued, which is shown to me in many ways (if it helps, write a list of all the ways you are valued).
I also realised I had options. I could have waited until everyone was together and asked for help, or I could set up a roster for the family.
I then wondered if I wasn’t valuing my time and started to look for ways to support myself in my time management.
I moved from blame into empowered action.
So next time you feel your partner is stuck or triggered, ask, “What does that mean to you?”