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  • Ways to Build Trust in Your Relationship
  • Your Brain Can Sabotage Your Relationship Without You Knowing.
  • Calming Phrases To Use During Conflict
  • One Essential Thing to Do to Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship.
  • 3 Tips to Reduce Your Defensiveness

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Jennifer Nurick

DISCOVER | HEAL | GROW

  • Home
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‘I have found the most powerful and lasting change for my clients comes from an integration of both psychotherapy and energetic healing, a holistic approach that works with the mind, the subconscious and the energy body.’

11 ways to build trust in your relationship

Ways to Build Trust in Your Relationship

Jennifer March 1, 2021

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It is difficult to be truly vulnerable with someone you don’t trust. Trust isn’t built overnight; it takes time. In a relationship, many small moments added together become the building blocks of trust. …

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Your Brain Can Sabotage Your Relationships

Your Brain Can Sabotage Your Relationship Without You Knowing.

Jennifer March 1, 2021

Your Brain Can Sabotage Your Relationships Have you ever felt that you are in negative overdrive? Every little thing your partner does is driving you crazy, and you only seem to focus on what they are doing wrong. The reticular …

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Calming phrases to use during conflict

Calming Phrases To Use During Conflict

Jennifer March 1, 2021

Every relationship, at some point, is going to have conflict. How well we deal with the dispute and make repairs can significantly influence the relationship and its longevity.⁣⁣⁣⁣When we are in conflict it is only natural that we will make …

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One Essential Thing to Do to Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship.

One Essential Thing to Do to Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship.

Jennifer March 1, 2021

The Gottman’s conducted a six-year longitudinal study that predicted the likelihood of divorce from the first three minutes of a conflict. The couples who divorced tended to begin their discussion with a lot of negativity and blame. This, in and …

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3 Tips for when you are feeling defensive: Ask yourself where you CAN take some responsibility in this situation? (Not doing this can result in forms of gaslighting). Is the complaint or criticism real, or am I making it personal to me? How can I hear what my partner is trying to tell me? How can I validate their experience before I try to share my own?

3 Tips to Reduce Your Defensiveness

Jennifer March 1, 2021

The four communication styles that have a negative impact on your relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Everyone will have a favoured method. Mine is defensiveness. Defensiveness is a response to criticism and tends to increase conflict because the other …

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One Tip That Will Change the Way You Argue Imagine we are in the middle of an argument, and I say, “You are so lazy, just like my father, no get up and go”. This is focused on the CHARACTER of the person. Now, if I shift this to “I noticed that you didn’t do any housework today”, that is BEHAVIOUR focused. When I address the behaviour, there is room to change; when I address the character, it is set in stone. When in conflict, focus on BEHAVIOUR.

One Tip That Will Change the Way You Argue

Jennifer March 1, 2021

There is a difference being attacking someone’s CHARACTER and attacking their BEHAVIOUR. When we are critical of someone’s character it is much more personal attack. When we attack a behaviour, there is more of a sense that the behaviour can …

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How to Shift a Criticism into a Complaint for More Effective Communication Criticism “You are so lazy and disrespectful; you leave all your dirty clothes all over the place.” Complaint “I feel sad when you leave your dirty clothes on the floor. I need you to put them in the basket.” Criticism "You are always spending too much money; you are completely unreliable". Complaint "I feel hurt and scared when you overspend. I need you to stick to the budget we agreed."

How to Shift a Criticism into a Complaint for More Effective Communication

Jennifer February 24, 2021

If you grew up with a lot of criticism around you, as an adult it is likely that you have a loud critical voice in your head. Usually that critical voice is directed inwards, but in intimate relationships, many people …

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How to Escape the Toxic Criticism and Defensiveness Cycle Criticism: “You are so lazy and disrespectful; you leave all your dirty clothes all over the place.” Antidote: “I” statements: “I feel _________ about __________. I need ___________.” “I feel upset and sad when you leave your dirty clothes on the floor. I need you to put them in the basket.” Defensiveness: “It’s just a few things at the end of the day, nothing to get so worked up about.” Antidote: Taking some responsibility, even if it is just a little. “I hear you are annoyed/sad; I can be a bit messy sometimes.” Remember: Listen, validate, accept some responsibility, what can we / I change?

How to Escape the Toxic Criticism and Defensiveness Cycle

Jennifer February 24, 2021

When someone comes at you with criticism, the natural response is to defend. Criticism is a form of attack, so it is natural to protect instinctively unless you know how criticism and defensiveness play out in a relationship. Those of …

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4 Ways of Communicating that will Destroy your Relationship

4 Ways of Communicating That Will Destroy Your Relationship

Jennifer February 24, 2021

The Gottman’s have spent 40 years studying couple and relationships. They found four communication styles predict the failure of a relationship. The Gottman’s call them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. First, to begin to work with our communication style, …

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Number 1 - CONNECTION – being with supportive people, not isolating, accepting help, joining a group that could build joy in your life. Number 2 - NURTURE WELLBEING – get a minimum of 7 hours sleep a night, eat plenty of fruit and veg, exercise, meditate. Number 3 – PURPOSE – do service, help others, have realistic goals Number 4 – HEALTHY MIND SPACE – Try some CBT techniques, learn to accept what you can’t change, look for the positive, start a gratitude practice.

4 Tips for Building Resilience

Jennifer February 24, 2021

Resilience is “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress” and can be developed by everyone.⁣⁠𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡:⁣⁠⁣⁠What can I do to increase connection …

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